It’s lonely being the Dragonborn.

I’d just discovered how to get married whilst I was visiting the temple of Mara in Riften. I was to wear the amulet of Mara around my neck, to signify I was looking for a mate. I put it around my neck and forgot all about it. I stopped off in Whiterun, where I’d just bought a house (a big, empty, lonely house) and when I was about to leave, I ran into Ysolde, a friend from days earlier. I’d given her a mammoths tusk, she’d given me training… We knew each other well. I said hello, but this time, there was something in her eye… A twinkle. I saw her glance down at my amulet. “Are you… Interested?” I inquired. She blushed. “Well, yes, Of course I am. Are you?” I became excited. Not only was a fiery haired, Nord maiden interested romantically in me but this was also a new dialogue option, which in itself was sort of rewarding. I said ‘Yes, yes i am’ purely out of impulse, because it was an option. After all, in Skyrim, it’s hard to NOT get drunk on the power of saying ‘Yes’ to people.

So Ysolde went on her way, pleased as punch, and leaving it up to me to organise the wedding. (Typical… Women, right?) ‘Organise Wedding’ went right into my mission list, with about 60 other things of a ‘to do’ nature, so it was quickly forgotten about.

About 3 Dragon Fights and 4 dungeons later, I was in the Winterhold Mages College, chatting to people and it turns out I’d forgotten to take my amulet of Mara off. This foxy elven beauty also expressed HER interest. I thought ‘Well, clearly A LOT of people want to marry me… Let’s see if it’s worth my while’. Well, with the promise of a bad ass mage to help me fight things, as well as a couple of suggestive dialogue choices, we were engaged. It vaguely crossed my mind that I was ALREADY engaged, and I’d literally just met this girl, we didn’t know each other, for all we know all we had in common was we were both students at the college. I quickly brushed that thought away and instead replaced it with thoughts of letting this Elf chick fight dragons and giants while I hide in the corner using healing spells. That was comforting.

So, the big day came. I was in the temple of mara, I spoke to the main priest. He wishes me congratulations on my wedding day and hoped the two of us would be happy. As did the other priests. Several times. In fact, that’s all they would say whenever I spoke to them. Got kind of annoying, actually. So the wedding was at dawn. I waited in the church for 24 hours, keen to get this ceremony on the road. People had arrived. My elf maiden was there, looking very happy. People I knew where there, like Sven from Riverwood, one of the Battle-Born clan. I was very touched.

So the Elf Maiden (who’s name I can’t even remember) and I stood in front of the altar as the Priest said his words….”Endless love” bla bla bla, “together FOREVER” bla bla bla, and as he said these words I started to think about Ysolde. About how SHE would feel. I mean, all the times we’d shared… Mammoth tusk quests… Talking about caravan trading…. I’d just bought a house in Whiterun and I could only picture Ysolde in that house, not some Elven Harlot. I don’t even KNOW this chick.

Then it was my turn to say ‘I do.’ I knew that I ‘did not’. So I said “Stop the wedding, I can’t go through with this!” Everyone was outraged, the priest called me a desecrator of the temple, my Elf girl ran away crying, Sven was OUTRAGED! I felt like total dirt. The priest just kept yelling at me to get out.

I left the temple, and travelled straight to Whiterun, looking for Ysolde, I was going to make this right. She wasn’t where she normally was, nowhere to be seen. It suddenly occurred to me… Maybe I’ve ruined this. Maybe she heard about the awful ‘cold feet’ incident and wants nothing to do with me. I started to lose hope, but as I turned to leave Whiterun, there she was, standing right outside my house. I said hello. She expressed interest in marrying me. Again. “My god, I though… She’s forgotten! She must have Alzheimer’s!” And then it hit me… She is the perfect wife! She runs a store, so there’s an income, she has that homely, Nordic quality, perfect for my house, AND she has short term memory loss, so she would forget all my indiscretions, like the fact that I’m a thief, Assassin AND a Werewolf. Perfect.

So I went straight back to the temple, organised another wedding. Again, everyone was happy for both of us…. Over and over again. The wedding came, more people showed up (Including Sven again, apparently I’d been forgiven) and Mikael, which made me distrustful since i knew what a ladies man he was. I went to talk to him and he even said something about having dibs on all the ‘ladies’ of Whiterun. I’ll have to keen an eye on him.

The wedding went off without a hitch. We moved into my place in Whiterun, and whenever I stop by, I get a homecooked meal and a cut of the store money. The perfect life in Skyrim. But there is still a heartbroken Elf Maiden out there, crying out of her misshapen eyes, into a pillow.

So all of you be warned… Love in Skyrim, can be just as dangerous as any Dragon or giant. Don’t enter into a marriage lightly……..Unless you own a second house, in which case I’m pretty sure you can have TWO wives  😀

Virtual cold feet